The loss of a friend who happens to be gay

1 minute read

During the twenty years I was living as a non-Christian my friends were all unbelievers. I still treasure the relationships I made then, though many have drifted away and others have chosen to break the ties.

Here’s something I received from someone I’ve known and loved for 15 years:

I'm flabbergasted! Gay upsets you. WOW! Enjoy your world.

Ironically, this was in response to post written by someone else. But that’s beside the point.

This old friend doesn’t seem to understand that I as a Christian see her and love her as a person, not as a “gay” identity. So she projects onto me her rejection of the very idea of sexual right and wrong. I become the law of God, hated because it awakens the knowledge of sin. In her mind she has no choice but to accept the gospel, or reject me.

Please pray that God will open the eyes of this friend, and all of our loved ones near and far who are on the losing side of their war with God. If they remain unchanged, they will carry their hatred into the eternal beyond, and be separated from God forever.


Dear Lord, you are a patient God, not willing that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance. Forgive me for all the ways I fail to be a clear and honest messenger of your truth. Help me to do better. Please have mercy on my beloved friend. Open her eyes that she might see. Through Jesus Christ our precious Savior, and for His sake. Amen.

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Originally published at: Comfort for Christians



Compassionately and precisely stated, Alec. This line is classic with regard to telling others of our desperate need for a Saviour: “I become the law of God, hated because it awakens the knowledge of sin.” It remains that this knowledge is a great gift from God, warning us of our danger, and our need. It is in His compassion that He gives us this, and yours, that you risk reproach for passing it on to your dear friends.

I too have had gay friends, some I have known all my life, turn their backs on me for the same reason as your friend. They cant seem to fathom the idea that they, as a person, are much more than their sexuality and that failure on my part to celebrate what they do late at night is not outright rejection.

Beautifully written. “I become the law of God….” It also shows how much so many of these folks obsess on their sexuality.

Have you ever seen the documentary, The Kinsey Syndrome? Its available to watch free online here or can be purchased from . It goes a long way to explain how our society (and the world) has become so obsessed with sexuality. From the description:

We are releasing a new edition of our controversial film, "The Kinsey Syndrome" with a new cover design. We are very pleased to relate the this work continues to be used as a tool to warn of the damaging influence of Alfred C. Kinsey and his impact on the sexual revolution, pornography, abortion, and all the wicked fruit of the ungodly descent into immorality that our nation has suffered since the Kinsey Reports were first issued in 1948. As the documentary so masterfully illustrates, there is a pre-Kinsey and a post-Kinsey America. Unfortunately, we live in the latter. All our major elitist institutions: the courts; the media; academia; the entertainment industry and others -- have relied upon Kinseys wholly discredited research to move America away from adherence to the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic, and toward a secular-humanist, morally relative worldview. The Kinsey Syndrome has helped to expose Alfred Kinsey and his lifes work as pure fraud."


We are almost at the point where there is no possible middle ground. If you do not “celebrate what they do”, then you are the enemy. I wonder if this is anything like it was for families during the American Civil War.

So sorry to hear that your friend is still choosing the world with temporary acceptance over eternal joy. I, too, have lost friends because of my choice to follow Christ. Its not just the homosexuals that have trouble with our choices. Its also adulterers, thieves, lying of any kind, hate, general unkindness, etc. etc. It makes those not trying to live right feel really uncomfortable to be anywhere near anyone who is trying to live correctly. Thats a good observation that we also represent Gods Law. Hadnt thought of that. I think more of myself as a mirror that reflects Christ and His goodness but of course, God is also wrath (the law). Anyway, I pray that your friend will have more people witness to her that she may be saved. Im so grateful no one gave up on me. Hope your day is blessed. ~:)

Key quote: “ I become the law of God, hated because it awakens the knowledge of sin. In her mind she has no choice but to accept the gospel, or reject me.” 2 Corinthians… to one we are the stench of death, to others… life.

Hi Timothy, Yes. That verse captures it. Here it is in full:

To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things? (2 Corinthians 2:16)


Alec, Stop it right now. Seriously stop it. You have no idea how much work must be done to first accept, embrace, and then share ones identity as LGBTQIA. And your refusal to see this person as Gay is a horrible thing. Its not your identity to embrace or reject and your rejection of it is doing active harm.

Dear Abigail, You seem to be a person of good will. If you were to read the horrible things people from Ravelry have written me and said they would like to do to me, I hope you would be as disturbed as I have been. I have never wished any harm on any gay person, nor ever will I. As a Confessional Lutheran, I believe the Bible to be the word of God. That word says that all human beings are sinners before him. We all need Jesus to be made right with God. I am sorry that the truth of my situation is experienced by you as active harm. The real harm comes from hating people of different tribes. Theres an awful lot of hate being directed at me by people who claim the label “tolerant”. Thank you for not doing that. With kindness and respect to you on your journey, Alec Satin

Dear Abigail, I appreciate your passion. Yet seeking to silence—even if it means crushing—differing views of identity is the work of an oppressor. You may say that those who differ with you should be crushed, because they posit a worldview that sees identity differently, and denies yours. I would like to say that we go to the trouble of bringing up these differences for love of you, as denying the identities our Creator gave each of us humans and preferring our own will end up terribly badly in the life to come, after the resurrection and judgment. We are told by the merciful God, and His Son Jesus Christ, to tell you of these things so you may not be unwarned or unprepared. We are born female and male. Some folks do not like that and seek to change the identities that were assigned to them at birth. Okay, in this life you have the freedom to do that, but in the life to come we will all have to answer to our Creator God for our violations of, and rebellions against, His law—His designs for holy living and flourishing in His creation. None of us keep His laws perfectly, and He has provided forgiveness for all lawbreakers and rebels through the loving sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ, who bore the punishment for our sins so we would not have to bear it throughout eternity. You may violently react to what I have said, and desire to silence me by whatever means you can, but the bottom line is that you must be warned of the issues involved, and of a loving God who will forgive all rebellion and transgression against Him and His laws of life and of love. We will not be silenced, as the love of God constrains us to speak. You may call what we are about “hate”—but in reality what would be “hate” would be to keep silent about the awful danger you will face in the world to come. For the love of Christ we speak, and for the love of you we do not remain silent. We have been doing this for over twenty centuries, bearing witness to the truth—and we shall till the end of the age. Steve R