Alec Satin’s Effectiveness Blog with a People Skills Focus

Saying Goodbye to Colleagues: The Great Cube Cleanout continues to touch a chord with people as evidenced by comments and email messages.  That post was written from the perspective of the one leaving.

As a follow up, here are some thoughts on what to do when you stay and someone else leaves.

Don’t Lie

Some people are not all that pleasant to work with.  If the person leaving is someone you don’t care for, the saying, If you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all is good to remember.  It’s sometimes far easier to say all kinds of falsehoods.  If you have to say something, instead of making something up, why not try this: I sincerely wish you well.

As the Rabbi said in Fiddler on the Roof when asked to provide a blessing for the Czar, May God bless and keep the Czar far away from here!  It’s okay to be happy that someone is going out of your life.

Remember Successes

This is a wonderful opportunity to recall genuine project and task successes that were accomplished through the efforts of the person who is leaving.

What do you Admire?

Take the time to come up with one or two traits or skills that you truly respect about the person.  It’s good to tell them in person, and to give some examples of how you’ve seen them in action.  If it feels uncomfortable to speak this out loud (guys - this is directed to you), it’s even more effective to send in a private email direct to the person.

Don’t be surprised if such an email is treasured for years to come.  Most people very rarely get true and positive feedback out of the blue.

Offer to be a Reference

If you respect the person and believe that you can give a glowing recommendation, offer to do so.  Better yet, write a paragraph or two and send it to them by email or post it on LinkedIn.

Feel free to make a Clean Break

Feel comfortable making a clean break - if that’s what you want.  If you don’t plan on remaining in touch, don’t imply anything to the contrary.  It’s a small world - and a very big one, too.  You really may not see them again unless you go out of your way to do so.

Make a Point to Stay Connected

If you like the person, and want them to remain in your life, set an intention to do everything in your power to make that happen.

• Set a specific date to meet for lunch 2 weeks from now - and keep it.
• Add them to your twitter and IM accounts.  Make them one of the people that you contact regularly.
• Invite them to dinner or for drinks sometime in the next month.

Transitioning relationships from work into other parts of our lives requires a little work - but can happen.  It won’t happen automatically though.

Goodbyes are sad and hard for most of us.

They remind us of our own vulnerability.

What do you do when it’s time to say goodbye?

(Image by snofla)

Tagged as: colleagues, Effectiveness, fiddler on the roof, happiness, People, positive feedback, Respect, Success

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During the process of moving this blog from Typepad to WordPress, I had the opportunity to communicate with developers, designers and blog experts.  It was a remarkably pleasant experience which got me to thinking about the things that we as project managers can do to help make our project teams the kind of places people want to join.

Why this is important for you as a Project Manager

Each person on your project team has an intrinsic desire to feel valued and connected with others.  The more they experience this in working with you and on your team, the easier time you will have in guiding your project to a successful delivery (on time, on budget and within scope).  In addition, it’s good to remember that

• people are smart
• people talk with each other
• your reputation as a leader and facilitator will be known fully in time

The best people in any organization usually have some say in what projects they work on.  If you consistently create project teams with a sense of community, you will have no problem attracting this talent.

Here are some things you can do to create community on your project team

Be genuine

You have to truly care about the people on your team, and the community, or none of this will work.  If you are fake, or are trying to manipulate in any way, people will know.  Your efforts will come to naught.

Always respond

If you receive an email, IM or other communication from a team member who needs something, it is incumbent on you to answer in a timely way.  Either provide the help requested, or connect the person with someone who can help.

You’ll get extra points if you follow through a few days later to ensure that the issue or question has been resolved.

Pay attention to stress points

If you know that your team has been working tight deadlines or under other pressures, anticipate stress points.  This means that you are ready when your lead developer and quality assurance analyst begin to squabble.  Your team members don’t expect you to be perfect or know everything.  But they do expect you to show that you can help them work through difficult situations.  They also expect you to care about their best interests at least as much as those of the project.

Be kind

Be liberal with praise and stingy with criticism.  The words coming out of your mouth should put people at ease.  This is especially true if things are not going according to plan, and even more so if you feel out of control.  It goes without saying that any blame you imagine you have for you team is really a condemnation of your own leadership abilities.  At least that’s what your executive management will think.

Never criticise a team member publicly unless they have done something to damage the sense of community on your team.  You should never be seen to tolerate shaming, public criticism, racial, ethnic, or sexual joking, or any other action which creates a chilled, fearful and closed atmosphere.  Your team (and project) can recover from almost everything that happens.  But trust between team members, once lost, is very difficult to find again.

Some extra things to think about when working with remote teams

Most of us are now or will soon be working with geographically diverse teams.  A good sense of community can still be created with a little effort on your part.  Work especially on your consistency in these areas:

• Do your meetings, conference calls and online collaboration settings start on time?
• Do you send out your agenda and all necessary background materials a few days in advance to give everyone time to prepare?
• Do you make an effort to address each person by name?
• Can you distinguish each person on your team by voice?  If not, what’s your plan for knowing who’s saying what?
• Do you have a primary communications contact at each distinct physical location?  (This is the person responsible to be your direct two-way communications channel for all people at that place.)
• Have you spoken to each team member one-on-one at least a few times to introduce yourself, to set the tone for the project, and to learn a little about them?

These are some of the very basics of creating a community feel on your projects.   No doubt you have others.  What are the most salient characteristics of the groups in which you enjoy participating?
(Image by goatopolis)

Tagged as: Communication, consistency, Email, experiences, goodness, Leadership, Management, Manager, Meetings, People, Perfection, Success, Teams

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